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5 Ways to Escape Negative Thoughts and Feelings That Keep You Stuck

Updated: Sep 22, 2020



We have 60,000-90,000 thoughts per day, most of which are repeating thoughts, up to 90% of which are NEGATIVE. It is important to understand who is in control of those thoughts. The answer is YOU. Your thoughts lead to emotions, which lead to actions, which lead to results. Makes sense, right? It all starts with your thoughts, and you are in control of changing your thoughts and therefore, your results. That is why it is so iMPORTANT to break the cycle of negative thinking, because our thoughts literally determine our results.

In addition, not all thoughts are real or rational. If you stop to examine your thoughts closely, you will probably discover that most of the negative thoughts you have about yourself are actually NOT real or rational. These kind of thoughts are what I call PINK ELEPHANT thoughts. We can think of a pink elephant or imagine one, and it will look very vivid or even realistic, but pink elephants do not actually exist. Therefore, not every thought we have is real either.

Here are five ways to help you break the cycle of negative thinking:

1) Notice your thoughts and deliberately and consciously examine them. Ask yourself, is this real or is this an irrational or pink elephant thought? If you determine it is a pink elephant, replace the thought with a new, realistic thought. For example, “I’m starving.” Is that real? Probably not. Change the thought to “I’m hungry. It’s time to eat something.” Or “I’m out of control. I’m eating like a pig.” If you examine that thought, you will see you are actually probably not “out of control.” Change the thought to “I have the ability to choose to eat what and when I want, so therefore I have control. I have eaten more than I would like today, so I’ll work on that for tomorrow.”

2) Notice the words you are using. Are they overly negative? For example, “I’m a mess.” “I’m the worst.” I’m a disaster.” “I’m so stressed.” “It’s too much.” Work on changing the words you use about yourself. Flip the words. Instead of I’m a mess,” say “I’m okay.” Instead of “I’m so stressed,” say “I can handle anything that comes up. I see it as a game, a challenge.” Instead of “it’s too much,’ try “I don’t need to do it all myself. Who can I get to help?” The words you use are a blueprint that your mind and body respond to. When you use powerful, realistic and positive words, your mind and body respond positively.

3) If you are annoyed or stressed by others, such as family members, don’t try to change them, change your words and it will change your emotional response, and you’ll find you are less stressed by the behavior of others.

4) Change your expectations.If you wake up expecting and thinking things will go wrong, they are likely to.Instead of saying “I am so stressed, today is going to be awful,” or “this date will be bad, they always are,” say to yourself “Today is going to be exciting and challenging and I’m going to handle whatever comes my way,” or “I’m going to have fun on this date, no matter what.”Changing your thoughts changes the pictures you make in your mind, and you’ll find the results will change dramatically.


5) Be kind to yourself. One of the leading causes of depression, anxiety and sadness are the harsh, hurtful words we say to ourselves. Think if you would speak that way to your friend. Treat yourself the way you would treat your best friend. Notice and acknowledge yourself for what you do RIGHT, even the small things, like getting out of bed, taking a shower. Getting in the habit of praising yourself will change your mood and your outlook and your results.

To find out more about my work, and how you can live free of unwanted issues book a free consultation below.


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